You can't change what is, but you can learn to like it. It's hard to motivate yourself to do something when you lack the motivation to motivate yourself. These and other issues are addressed in this talk, which doesn't answer any questions I have, but does tell me that I'm not alone in wondering about some of the things I wonder about. Besides answers--I never know if they're true or not. But finding out that I'm not the only one who is suspicious about something I'm suspicious about, is always encouraging.